Parking Meters and Thrown Applainces
by ronandmion4ever
Summary: Hermione& Ron are married and Hermione is pregnant with twins! but will Hermione's pregnant induced horomones split them up?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: if i were jk, would i be writing this?

"Your seeing that blonde witch from your office, aren't you?" Hermione yelled at Ron, throwing a slipper at him.

"Of course not." Ron said picking up the old ice cream cartons on Hermione's dresser and throwing them in the wastebin.

"Yes you are!" She yelled again.

"What makes you think that?" Ron asked calmly.

"Because I'm ugly and fat." Hermione pouted.

"No you're not." Ron said as he put a hand on her shoulder.

"Ew, don't touch me. You did this to me." Hermione said shaking off his hand.

"How did I- ok I know how I did this to you but what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know. I'm going to my mother's house." She said. She pulled a drawer out of her dresser, dumped its contents into a suitcase, and stormed out of the bedroom. Ron listened as she banged down the stairs, bustled through the kitchen, and slammed the door. Then he listened as the door opened again and Hermione ran up the stairs.

"No, I am not going to run home to my mom crying. I will be mature. Leave me alone meanie! You can not sleep here tonight."

"What?" Ron asked, "then where am I going to sleep?"

"The couch is comfortable." She said pushing Ron out of the room. Ron heard the door magically lock. He knocked on the door.

"Can I at least have my pillow?"

"Harry, I really don't know what to do." Ron said twirling a spoon in his coffee. He and Harry were at the Leaky Cauldron. Ron had coffee but he wasn't drinking it. "I love Hermione, no matter what hormonal state she is in, but Harry she's just-just- ugh I don't know how to say it."

"Naggy, needy, fat?" Harry suggested.

"No, ok, maybe she's a little needy." Harry gave him a skeptical look. "Ok, a lot needy, but I don't see why she is always mad at me. I mean, I did go out, at three, to get Hermione sardines, apple and peach pie, and lime Jell-O. What is wrong?"

Harry just chuckled. "Well, that's what you get for marrying her."

"I love her Harry." Ron sighed.

"Yeah, I love Ginny but I'm not marrying her or getting her like Hermione."

"Cause your not shagging her, right?" Ron asked protectively.

"Uh." Harry started guilty, "Of course not." He reassured Ron. "We wont do that till we're married."

"You better make sure of that."

"Ginny, I really don't know what to do." Hermione said twirling a spoon in her ice cream. She and Ginny were at Fluresenct's Ice Cream Shop. Hermione was eating her third banana split. "I love Ron, no matter how much of a prat he is, but Ginny he's just-just ugh I don't know how to say it."

"Pratish, unsympathetic, ugly?" Ginny suggested.

"No, ok, maybe he's a little bit unsympathetic." Ginny gave her a skeptical look. "Ok, a lot unsympathetic but I don't see why he has to be like that. I mean, he is always at work, and there's a blond witch there. Why doesn't he see what condition I'm in, it is obvious."

Ginny just chuckled. "Well, that's what you get for marrying him."

"I love him Ginny." Hermione sighed.

I love Harry but were not getting married, and I am not getting like you."

"Cause your not shagging him, right?" Hermione asked protectively.

"Uh" she started. "Of course not. We decided to be like you and Ron and wait till we're married."

"You better make sure of that."

Hermione walked into her office and placed her folder on her desk. She worked for a few minutes, until Ron came in.

"Mione, please just hear me out." Ron pleaded.

"Fine"she said turning back to the desk.

"Mione, I love you soo much. I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. I don't think your fat and I promise to be more supportive." He said. He put down a box of chocolates and started to walk out the door.

Hermione walked over to him. "Wait Ronnie." She put her arms around him. "I'm sorry I know I get emotional." Ron and Hermione kissed for a little while. Ron broke away from her and looked at the clock.

"Er, Mione, I er, need a sickle." Ron said feebly.

"So you just apologized cause you need money!" Hermione yelled as she took of her stiletto heels and threw one at Ron. Ron ducked the shoe and it flew over his head.

"No, Mione. See my broom, it's on a parking meter, and they take away your broom if you don't pay, Mione I really need the-  
"Get out! Get out! Get out!" she yelled throwing her other shoe at him. This time Ron wasn't as lucky, the shoe hit him on the arm and made a small cut.

Scared by the enraged shoe-throwing, Ron left the room and ran outside in an attempt to save his broom. He looked to where he had parked his broom. The broom was gone and in its place was a small Ministry note.

"Ugh…"

Hermione walked into her and Ron's flat and took some ice cream, butterbeer, Vienna sausages, and Oreo's. She ate until she heard the phone ring. She answered.

"Hello?"

"Yes, hello. Is Ron there?" a woman's voice asked.

Hermione was about to yell when she had an idea. "I'm sorry Mr. Weasley isn't available, can I please take a message?" she asked in a valley girl accent.

"May ask who this is?" The woman asked. Hermione realized it was Connie, the blonde witch at Ron's office, was the one on the phone.

"This is Shelby, Ron's sectary."

"Oh, ok. Tell him Connie called and that she needs to have the decision by tonight."

"Can you tell me what the decision is? You know he's forgetful." Hermione asked, still speaking valley girl.

"Oh, tell him I need to know the color of the pillows. Ok, well, bye." Connie said. The phone fell silent. Hermione was appalled. Ron and Connie were planning a beach house, Lake House, flat together? She knew he was having an affair. She ate all the contents of the fridge, pantry, and special snack hideout. Ron walked in and Hermione was ready. The first thing Ron saw as he walked in the door was a sharp, glass, paperweight flying towards his head. He ducked and saw a few more things being thrown at him.

"What?" He asked out loud picking up a small lamp.

"Connie called today, she wanted to know what color pillows you wanted." Hermione retorted. Ron sighed and walked over to where she was. He saw her standing in the kitchen with a fully armed with ammo with consisted of many household appliances.

"Hermione, I didn't want you to find out like this." Ron said.

"You know what, if you didn't want me to know you shouldn't have done it."

"What? I wanted you to know but not-"

"What? No what Ron, I am fe-"

"No Hermione." He said calling her Hermione the first time since they had gotten married. "I am fed up. I am supportive. I call you beautiful. I go get what food you wants. I put up with your tantrums. I work my butt off to support all the money you use on food. I have had it."

"So have I. Get out! And don't come back! Forever!" Hermione yelled. She threw the appliances at him pushing him out the door.

A/N: Hope you liked it! One more chapter, R&R please


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Still not mine

A/N: Ok, this will be my last update for a month and a half. I'm trying to give up fanfiction for Lent! Don't know how long ill last but… OK this chapter won't be as funny but our favorite twins are in it!

Hermione groggily walked out of her bedroom. She yawned and went to make herself a nice breakfast. Hermione walked into the kitchen and dropped the book she had been reading. "Murder!" she though as she looked into the room that was filled with household appliances, books, an occasional shoe, and some lamps. "No wonder Ron wasn't in bed this morning. Oh no! I left my wand upstairs and by the time I get to it the murderer will probably get me!" She looked around for a weapon, and seeing she had used them (though she didn't know why). So she did the only thing she thought she could do. She lie and the ground and begged not to be killed. "No, I'm to young to die. I didn't imagine being like this. There would be flowers and music and lots of mini-wieners! Don't take me, I'm with child!" from that point Hermione began mumbling incoherently. She heard footsteps. "Stay away from me you fiend." She didn't see her murderer. But she did see a glass vial coming towards her mouth. She felt the warm potion run down her body. She thought she saw something red as she slipped out of consciousness.

"Hermione are you ok?" Mrs. Weasley asked. "I think you where in shock."

"Wha-" Hermione said. She woke up and found she was on her couch. Mrs. Weasley was sitting in a chair next to her. "Where's Ron?" she tried to sit up.

"Hermione try to remember what happened yesterday." Mrs. Weasley said soothingly.

"I… Ron…. Gone." She managed to say. She thought about the fight. Then she got angry. "He cheated on me!"

"Not sweetheart. I think there was a misunderstanding. Ron didn't cheat on you." Mrs. Weasley's calm voice said.

"But the pillows and Connie and all the extra hours." Hermione ranted.

"Hermione. Let me show you something." Mrs. Weasley said pulling out a small cube from her pocket. The cube popped up and instantly a 3-D model of a baby's nursery came up. It had two cribs, two rocking horses, a changing table, many many toys, a doll house, a ride on tractor, a playhouse big enough for a girl to sleep in, a rocking chair, a play workstation, two miniature brooms, a few magical toys, some picture frames with all of Ron's family and Hermione's, and the walls were superbly decorated with ribbons and silk and lace and clowns and balloons.

"But where?" Hermione stuttered knowing that nursery could not fit in her and Ron's small flat. Mrs. Weasley touched her wand to the nursery and a whole house sprung out from around the nursery. There was a big master bedroom, three bedrooms for kids (not counting the nursery), a playroom, a living room, a parlor, a library (Hermione's favorite room, besides the nursery), a guesthouse, and a huge kitchen, all decorated as superbly as the nursery.

Hermione noticed there were tears running down her cheek. "But, money, we, he didn't even ask, I could have given." Suddenly Hermione's brain's logic wheel started turning and she realized how he was paying for it. "Connie was the designer and the extra hours and he was going to sell his broom but I-I-I" Hermione small tears turned into sobs. Mrs. Weasley got up and wrapped her arms around her. "Will he," gulp, "will he take me back?"

"Well Ron is stubborn but he loves you. You know that right?" Hermione nodded. "Maybe he needs to be reminded that you love him back."

"Morning Mione." Fred or was it George said.

"As brother of the father to be, we brought food." The other one said.

"Oh, thanks." Hermione said. She was licking a spoon. She had no food because she had eaten it all the day before. She watched as they unloaded the groceries. "You bought." Wince, " vanilla ice cream."

"Yeah, don't you like it?" Fred asked.

"Um, no I hate it! Why did you buy it for me!" Hermione yelled. She looked taken back at her outburst. "Sorry." She mummered.

"Alright. Well guess what little Ronniekins told us last night?" Fred asked.

"What?" Hermione asked although she did not want the answer.

"He said you kicked him out!" George laughed. "Haha, we knew it would be our little baby brother."

"Would get kicked out first! What'd he do,"

"He wouldn't tell us!"

"Never mind." Hermione sighed.

She heard the door open. She looked in and watched Ron walk in and pretended it was an average day and Ron was walking in from work. But it wasn't an average day. Ron walked in and looked at her and said something about getting his stuff. He walked up and started for their bedroom. Hermione ran after him, well she ran as fast as a pregnant woman could run. She caught him the doorway. "Wait." She said. Grasping his arm, she looked him straight in the face.

"What is it. I don-" He was cut off as Hermione placed her lips on his. Suddenly, all insults and thrown appliances were forgotten. All Ron knew was that he loved her.

"I'm" Hermione started. But Ron placed a finger on her lip.

"Don't. Just kiss me." Ron said.

Twenty minute later, Ron and Hermione walked down the stairs looking far more happier then when the went up. Ron walked with his arm around her. They walked into the kitchen where Fred was seated, eating the vanilla ice cream. Hermione stared at Fred.

"Is that MY vanilla ice cream." Hermione demanded.

Fred seemed to cower, "Um, yes. But you don't like vanilla-"

"Die!" Hermione screamed picking up the nearest thing next to her. It was a big clock. Fred looked at her and bolted out the door. Hermione followed. Several "ow's", "no's" and "but I thought you hated vanilla's" were heard.

Ron smiled and sat next to a very frightened George. He sighed. "I guess something's never change."

A/N: So… Was it good. Hermione was very OOC in the first part but she was in shock of losing Ron. It kinda made her … cuckoo. Well anyway, There back together! YAY! R&R please!


	3. Chapter 3

It had two cribs, two rocking horses, a changing table, many many toys, a doll house, a ride on tractor, a playhouse big enough for a girl to sleep in, a rocking chair, a play workstation, two miniature brooms, a few magical toys, some picture frames with all of Ron's family and Hermione's, and the walls were superbly decorated with ribbons and silk and lace and clowns and balloons. In one crib was a three-year-old baby. Hermione ran a hand down the long red hairs on Samantha's head. In the other bed, an eighteen-month-old boy slept. She patted the top of his curly redish brown tresses and kissed his forehead.

"Night Mason. Night Samantha." She called to the sleeping babies. She walked out of the nursery and a whole house sprung out seemed to spring out from around the nursery. There was a big master bedroom, three bedrooms for kids (not counting the nursery), a playroom, a living room, a parlor, a library (Hermione's favorite room, besides the nursery), a guesthouse, and a huge kitchen, all decorated as superbly as the nursery. She stopped in the first room. It was empty. She looked into the second bedroom. On the bed, lay a ten-year old boy, asleep with a broomstick in his hand. She went to wake him but she heard something.

"The spiders…. want me to tap dance… but I … don't want to … tap dance." Jeffery muttered in his sleep. Hermione swallowed a giggle. She pulled the broom from his hand and pulled the covers up to his chest.

"Night Jeffery." She walked into the third room. A little seven-year-old was running around the room.

"You make me wanna lala!" she sang listening to a W-pod (A/N: the I-pod of wizards!) Hermione had given her for Christmas.

"Anna!" she pulled the phones from her ears. Anna looked up.

"Oi, hi mum." Anna said. "I'll be an alley cat! Drink the-"

"Bed!" Hermione said. She accio'd the W-pod

"Mum!" Anna wined.

"Anna!" Hermione wined back.

"Fine. G'night."

"Night."

She wobbled down the stairs and into the kitchen, she walked to the library. She saw a light under the door. She opened the door and saw Jenna in the room, reading Hogwarts: A History.

"Jenna. You're supposed to be in bed."

Jenna looked up from the book. "But it is soo good mum."

Hermione smiled, " I know. I constantly read it. Now bed."

"One more chapter?" she pleaded.

"No. Bed, now."

"Alright." Jenna got up from the table and Hermione saw that she was wearing her old robes. The robes were huge on Jenna, seeing that the robes were from her seventh year. She also saw a scarf that was wrapped several times around her neck.

"Is that dad's old scarf?"

"Yup, and your old robes." Hermione smiled at Jenna. Hermione walked Jenna to her room. Finally she cam to the last door. She opened the door to an orange room with Cannon posters. She lay down next to the man on the bed. He cupped her face and gently kissed her.

"Ron?"

"Hmm?" he asked chewing on his quill.

"Do you think you could get me banana fritters, chocolate frogs, droobles, bertie botts, pumpkin pasty, ice mice, snog frogs, jelly slugs, chipolatas, chocolate gateau, coconut ice, and cherry syrup and soda?"

"Hmm, baby needs candy today?" Ron said sliding his hand down her swollen stomach.

Hermione's mouth went into pout mode, "Ok, ok" Ron said. He put a jacket on and looked at the clock. 2:30, it flashed. He sighed and walked out the hall. "Some really never change." He muttered.

"What was that?"

"I said I love you with all my heart?"

A/N: Jenna and Jeffery are the twins Hermione was pregnant for in the first two chapters. Anna, Mason, and Samantha are their newest kids. And she's pregnant again! I guess Hermione and Ron just couldn't keep their hands off each other, lol. Last chappie. :-(


End file.
